Time Is All We Have
by Yanagi Uxinta
Summary: Sometimes killing is necessary. Sometimes death is deserved. That doesn't always matter when you're the one remembering the kill over and over. Hannah, in the days after her birthday, and the people who rally around her to help.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! This little story has been in the works for a while now (originally as Girl Talk, chapter 2), but it was an anonymous review someone left today that prompted me to finish it up, and as its own story to boot. Guest, you're absolutely right – there's no shame in asking, so I hope this will tide you over for now. I will be following this up with a Thierry/Hannah chapter for you, so I hope you enjoy it when it arrives! I couldn't reply to you personally, so thank you very much for your review - I always love hearing from my readers.

More generally, I hope Hannah is in character here – I've not got the book to hand at the minute, so couldn't reference her as I wrote. If you think I've done something out of character, please let me know! I can only improve if I get feedback, after all :)

Thanks for following me so far guys, you're all amazing. As ever, hope you enjoy!

* * *

There was a knock on the door. Hannah looked up from the book she was staring at more than reading.

It was three days since her birthday. Three days in which to call her mother and Chess and Paul and apologise, and attempt – somehow – to explain. Three days to just _be_ , to live, to be seventeen for the first time in... not just her lives, in _history_. Three days to be with Thierry, to remember and revel in him, in _them_. Long, peaceful days that were a first in all her lifetimes. Never before had they had time to just be happy together. Only stolen moments, a few hours, a day at most – and then Maya would intervene, or Thierry – the old him, the more rash, desperate him – would do something stupid. She remembers the times he turned up in her life, and stole her away with a litany of apologies but an unwavering conviction. She remembers the terror, and the hate. She remembers being almost glad when Maya shows up – pretending to be a friend, pretending she would get her out.

Then the image would change and it would be Thierry who killed her. Not really him, but she couldn't tell at the time. She would say everything she could to hurt him before she died, never knowing he didn't hear her – that she only made Maya more satisfied.

In a way, she's glad he didn't hear some of the many last words she said to him, even though she said similar things to him during those lives. At least she said the worst of it to Maya, even unknowingly.

She remembers her through the years as well – always wise, always a mentor, a _friend_. She still has to consciously remind herself that the person she saw before she died was Maya as well, even if she looked like Thierry. She remembers one life time where she fought back – the warrior life. She'd fought back with the steel sword she'd been raised using – but steel doesn't harm vampires. She had been frustrated, more than anything, during that death. She'd land blow after blow, should have crippled or killed with each one... but he – _she_ – just kept coming, smiling, laughing, and still saying 'he' loved her.

She remembered one particular instant. She'd dodged so far, had somehow managed to get behind the vampire. She'd stabbed, driving the blade clean through the monster's body, just beneath the shoulder blade.

As she remembered, steel turned to wood, dim dusk in a forest turned to the crushing darkness of a cave, relieved only by the light of the torches. And this time Maya didn't laugh it off, use the weapon in her body as a pivot to throw her, giving the vampire enough room to get her hands on her and kill her. This time she crumpled, she gasped, she died.

She still laughed.

The knock came again and Hannah started – she'd done it again. Drifted off into thought instead of doing what she was supposed to be doing – like reading about Hadrosaurids. Like answering the door.

'Come in,' she said, glad her voice was relatively normal. She couldn't get that recurring image – the stake protruding out of Maya's back, that delicate hand collapsing in on itself – out of her head. It invaded no matter what she was doing or thinking of.

The door swung open and a dark head appeared around it.

Hannah pushed down the small surge of disappointment that it wasn't Thierry. After three days, he'd reluctantly admitted that he had a small empire to run and had gone to see to the most important things he'd put on hold. He was still nearby, just in his office down the hall, but Hannah wasn't going to disturb him just because she wanted to keep him all to herself for... well, the next few millennia to make up for the ones they had missed would be a start. She was making herself be patient. They did have all her many future lives stretching out ahead of them now, with Maya gone.

So she summoned up a smile for the vampire hunter looking at her curiously. 'Hey, Rashel.'

The tall girl took that as an invitation to come in. Hannah hadn't seen much of the other soulmates in the past few days – she'd spent most of the time recovering in bed while the vampire blood faded. The last time she'd seen Rashel was on the way back from the cave. She was dressed differently now, more like the first time they'd met – simple, practical shorts and T-shirt. No all black, ninja-like gear. No wooden sword.

She latched onto the casual clothing. It was grounding. It was away from that cave.

'I just came to see how you were feeling. Bar the vampires themselves, I've had the most experience with l-' she cut herself off, looking at the ceiling in exasperation. 'I need to stop doing that,' she sighed, almost to herself.

Hannah looked at her oddly. 'What?'

Rashel glanced back down with a self-deprecating smile. 'I'm trying to train myself out of my xenophobia. It's taking a while.' When Hannah just kept staring, confused, she gave a resigned tilt of her head and elaborated. 'I keep going to say things like 'leeches' and 'parasites' just out of habit – then stop because, well,' she threw up her hands in mock surrender, 'it turns out they're not _all_ like that and I'm, despite my best efforts, in love with one. And several others that I've met have turned out to be pretty decent people that I wouldn't mind calling friends.' She shrugged and pulled up the chair from the dressing table, placing it quietly beside Hannah's bed and taking a seat. 'Anyway, what I was going to say was I've had the most experience dealing with vampires – particularly the bad ones, and I just thought you might want someone to talk to.' She looked up at Hannah then, green eyes honest but firm. 'It's not easy, killing. Or it shouldn't be.'

Hannah sat back, startled. Sure, everyone seemed to _know_ who had killed Maya, there below the blue sky in the mine shaft. But this was the first time anyone had actually addressed it. 'Oh. Well- I-' She stopped, blowing out a breath, turning it into a rueful smile. 'I didn't expect that, really.'

Rashel smiled, wry. 'Figured it was best to just come out and say it. I'm not good at this touchy-feely stuff. Look,' she said, eyes dropping again – this time a tad guilty. 'I know we all reacted like you'd slain the dragon down there, when we found out. We'd all been on edge since you went missing, and I think the relief just got to us. But looking back, I can see you weren't very comfortable. So I'm sorry for that. It's easy for people like us to treat it like... like winning a game or something. Because for years it was pretty much winning points – the more you killed on the other side, the more points. But it's easy to forget that most people – _normal_ people,' there was that self-deprecating smile again, and a nod at Hannah, 'don't react like that. So I wanted to apologise, for making you feel uncomfortable. And I want to offer any help I can, even if it's just listening.'

Hannah stared at this girl – someone who had seemed so calm and in control of everything – casually opening up and offering her hand in one breath.

She gave a shaky smile, suddenly aware of a tight, fluttery ball in her chest that she hadn't even known was there before. 'I do already have a psychiatrist, you know,' she said, trying to make it into a joke.

Rashel smiled, but not with humour. With gentle understanding. 'And does this psychiatrist know the slightest thing about vampires, outside of T.V.?'

Hannah opened her mouth, faltered, smiled. 'No. Only what little I told him before I even figured out the whole Night World thing.'

Rashel bowed her head, accepting her point had been made. 'I don't want to pressure you into anything – if you don't want to talk, that's fine. But I know I could have done with someone who understood what it was like when I started killing.'

Hannah caught on that one word – _started_. Yeah, she knew Rashel was a vampire hunter and a fighter and all that, but up until now it hadn't really registered that she had _killed_ people. People like Maya – maybe even people like Thierry. Had done so many times, for years. That the reason she had been at that cave was to fight – to kill if necessary – to get her out safely.

Odd, how your brain can just gloss over facts until they're shoved in your face.

'I- How old were you, when you...?' She couldn't quite say it, not so casually like Rashel could.

Rashel nodded, clasping her hands and resting her elbows on her knees, settling in for a long talk. 'Twelve. But I'd been training for it for years before that.'

Hannah sat a silently mouthed _twelve_ to herself. That was just – that was so _young_. She and Chess were still watching _Scooby_ _Doo_ and _The Land Before Time_ at that age.

Funny to think that it was only five years ago. Not that long, when you think about it.

She felt suddenly shy, now that she had Rashel sat there, patiently waiting to answer anything or hear anything Hannah had to say. Not that she didn't want to talk – even if part of it was simple morbid curiosity – and it wasn't so much as wondering where to start, as how do you even _have_ this conversation? Yes, I killed someone, watched them mummify in seconds, and I keep seeing it. How about you?

Rashel must have seen her struggle, because she looked down and said, 'pretend I'm your psychiatrist. No one is going to come in and interrupt us, so this is a safe room. You can say anything to me, and I promise you it won't shock me or turn me away. So if it helps, pretend I'm your shrink and we're in their office.'

Hannah stopped again, stumped, then saw what she meant. With Paul, she could just spill things out no matter how they sounded.

So she settled back against the cushions on her bed, turned away from Rashel – like on Paul's couch – and just said what came to mind, eyes staring at the far wall without really seeing it. 'I just... I didn't _want_ to do it. I tried to, earlier. Got free, made myself a stake, got ready to ambush her... and I couldn't do it. I was right behind her, ready to stab her in the back, and I couldn't do it. Even she asked me why. I don't know if it was one of my other lifetimes,' she said, half-turning to Rashel, almost absent-mindedly. 'Maya suggested that, actually. My priestess training, or my Buddhist life. But I've had other life times where I _would_ have done it – I was a warrior, once. They were kind of fighting, in my head, while I was standing there. But when it came down to it – when she was going to spear Thierry-' she held her hands out, shaking her head helplessly. 'I just did it. No thought. Just moved.' She looked right at Rashel then with a kind of half-laugh. The dark haired girl was watching her steadily, serious. 'I thought I was fine at the time, you know? I wasn't proud of it, but it had to be done. That simple. Then I got back here, and those last few minutes just won't go away.' She shook her head, staring blankly at her knees. 'I didn't know vampires mummified like that. And I keep seeing her hand, just bones in leather. Or her laughing and choking on the blood. How do you get that out of your head?'

Rashel sighed softly and Hannah looked up at her. There was sympathy there – more than that. Empathy.

'The short answer? You don't,' she said, blunt. 'That kind of thing stays with you. In my experience, I eventually got used to it through sheer exposure. Kill enough of them; they all start to look alike. I thought I was coping, but it turns out I was just... pushing it down. Ignoring it. Now I'm being made to actually look back and re-evaluate things... I'm suffering for it. So even the ones I thought I'd forgotten are suddenly popping up in my head again. That's karma for you.' She shrugged, dipping her head to run a hand through her hair, lifting it off her neck. Even with the air con, the place was warm. 'Honestly, I can't tell you how you'll recover from it because I don't know yet myself. But what's helped me so far is staring it in the face, so to speak. I try to remember everything I can about it – and acknowledge it. Yes, I did something terrible, and I'm not going to forget again. But I'm remembering it, I'm _acknowledging_ it, and I'm not going to let it get in the way of my life.' She sighed again, sitting up. 'I feel like I'm not explaining this very well,' she confessed.

Hannah smiled. 'Well I just babbled on about my one, so I think we're equal there.'

Rashel grinned. 'I'll take that. But, OK, what we did was horrible – not just for the people who died, but for us. There's no getting around that – anyone with a conscience who kills suffers for it as well. But what you in particular have to remember is that Maya well and truly deserved it. She wasn't a victim, she wasn't innocent, she wasn't _nice_. Maya was the embodiment of every evil vampire I've ever met. The world can only be a better place for her not being in it. More importantly, you did it with the best intentions anyone could have – saving someone else. If you hadn't killed Maya, would Thierry still be alive?'

Hannah wrapped her arms around herself, closing her eyes. She didn't want to picture what could have happened. 'No.'

'And as you said before, you didn't do it out of hate, like me. You couldn't kill her in cold blood – you're not a murderer, Hannah. You're someone who made the best choice in a horrible situation. And I'm sorry that you had to make that choice. If things had gone to plan, you wouldn't have had to.'

Hannah nodded, smiling and relieved, in a way. It had been an odd, meandering talk, but that ball in her chest felt a little steadier, a little looser. It made it easier to talk. 'Gone to plan?'

Rashel grimaced. 'That's why Quinn and I were there. Thierry was supposed to scout the cave out – we were hoping to find you alone, get you out, then confront Maya. Unfortunately she was already there and we didn't have time to ambush her before she grabbed you. Thierry had to say something before she did.'

Hannah nodded, but lingered over the story. 'And by confront, you mean...?'

'Kill her? With any luck. Not Thierry's idea, you understand – he's rather stuck on his 'no killing' rule. But Maya was a legitimate threat and this was going to be the best opportunity we had to finish her. Quinn and I volunteered to go alone and help deter any of Maya's lackeys, should they be guarding the place. That was our official job, anyway, but I think Thierry knew what we were planning. And it would certainly be a loophole in his rule.'

Hannah frowned, confused. 'But, all that stuff you just said – that you're suffering for it now. Yet you still go out and keep doing it?'

Rashel's subtle cheer faltered, faded. She looked away as though caught out, then gave a little shrug as if to say 'may as well tell her'. 'I don't know anything else. I've focused on nothing but killing vampires since I was _five_. I literally wouldn't know what else to do. Plus I'm _very_ good at it, and that's a skill set that Circle Daybreak desperately needs right now. Not just killing, but fighting, evading, etcetera. Sure, a vampire can give you great insights into how they move and their habits and everything else, but only a vampire hunter can tell you what movements and habits to exploit, how best to lure out a vampire, how to trap them. And...' she trailed off, opening her hands as if to free her confession.

'I enjoy it. I _like_ hunting. And I know that the people I'm targeting now _are_ the monsters I always thought they were. That helps a lot.' She sighed, looked up at Hannah. 'At the end of the day, I've had a lot of practice at dehumanising – for lack of a better word – my targets. That's how I can go through with it. These recent ones, I've not had much trouble with because I _know_ they're bad. But there are a few from my career that I'm... uncertain on. There are a few that I killed just because they were a vampire and I had an opportunity. Those ones trouble me, and sometimes my missions here remind me of them. So when I get back home, I... decompress. I'll talk to Quinn. I'll read a book,' she nodded at the one Hannah had set aside, 'or I'll go for a swim or a run or watch a movie. I relax and distract myself, but sometimes I'll have a bad day. When I do, I tell Thierry I'm off missions for a couple of days. I talk to him about it. And I talk to Quinn. I just check base, I guess. I talk to make sure I'm not the only one who feels like this, that this is normal. Us three and Ash, actually. We all need that kind of... support group, really. We've all done bad things that we struggle with, so we help each other with it. Guess it's going to be a group of five, now,' she said, nodding at Hannah.

She lifted her head, surprised. 'Really? I wouldn't be intruding, or...?'

Rashel snorted, the solemn mood breaking in an instant. 'Nope. It's not much of a thing to be welcomed into, but you're welcome nonetheless. You don't need to stay and listen to our stories if they make you uncomfortable – believe me, Ash ducks out a lot of the time when me or Quinn are having a particularly rough time and need to talk it out to get past it. Thierry always stays, even though I'm pretty sure Quinn and I both have him beat as far as horrific actions go. I think because he feels responsible for us all, so he doesn't want to walk out on anyone even though none of us would blame him.' She stopped with an almost glum expression. 'You know, your soulmate was the first genuinely, utterly _nice_ vampire I ever met. I thought he must just be the craftiest one ever, putting that front up to fool everyone, but no. I was _disappointed_ he was so nice, because I felt guilty for previously lumping him in with the others.' Rashel stopped grumbling to eye Hannah speculatively. 'From the way he tells it, that's your influence you know.'

Hannah couldn't help the smile that found its way to her mouth. 'He would say that, but honestly – that's just him. He doesn't give himself enough credit – and gives me too much.'

'There _is_ no shutting him up once he starts talking about you,' Rashel mused.

Hannah snorted, breaking into a laugh and ducked her head, cheeks warm. 'I hope he doesn't bore you all?'

Rashel slung an arm over the back of her chair, slouching back, grinning. 'Nilsson's pretty good at getting him back on track. Lupe just prods him until he notices. We don't mind, really – we all know what it's like, to be that... that fascinated with someone. Like you can spend your whole life learning about them and still have things to talk about.'

Hannah smiled. 'It's weird. Even though I've probably been with my soulmate the longest – just counting the individual days we had, I mean – I still feel like I've got a lot of catching up to do.'

Rashel tilted her head thinking. 'Probably because you were different each time. Sure, you learn about Thierry – but millennia is a long time for someone to change in. Your impressions will have been different each time, because you were. So in a way, you're starting from scratch. A clean slate.'

Her smile turned inward this time, distant. 'I think that's what we need,' she said quietly.

 _I hate you! I don't want anything to do with you! Let me go!_

 _Hanje, please, I know you don't understand right now – but I brought you here to keep you safe. To save you._

 _I'd rather die than be with you for another minute!_

She blinked hard, found herself staring at the pale gold blankets covering her knees. When she looked up, Rashel was watching her closely.

'That happen often?' She asked.

Hannah started, then realised – Rashel might have moments like that too. Moments where you slip inescapably into a memory. 'I- Sometimes. There's so many memories crammed into my head, it's like they sometimes come to the front and won't go. Like I'm there again.' She paused, chewing the inside of her cheek, then continued. 'What you said, about a clean slate – it just made me think about one of the times things... didn't work so well. One of the lives I'd rather not remember.'

'Do you want to talk about it?' The smile was gone, and that steady calm was back – like nothing could shake her. Hannah only hesitated for a moment.

'Once – well, a couple of times, actually – Thierry tried to keep me safe from Maya by hiding me. But he didn't think to tell me that before he did it.'

Rashel's only reaction was her eyebrows lifting.

'He'd been around for a few days, doing some work in the village I lived in, helping bring in the harvest. Just passing through, he said. He'd seemed so wise, and happy to listen to me. I couldn't read or write, but he started to teach me. He cared about what I thought, I wasn't some little worthless girl to him. But he lured me away from the village – just talking, at first, then once we got too far away to be discovered, and I said I should be getting home – he stopped me. Influenced me, I think, to knock me out. I woke up in a remote hut, up in the mountains somewhere. A safe house, he called it. He wouldn't let me leave – just kept saying he was doing this to keep me safe, to save me. I think I was there for a few weeks before Maya found us. He tried to explain a few times, but I just kept screaming at him to let me leave, to take me home. I never found out why he did it in that life. I hated him by the end.' She paused, then – 'I was thirteen.'

'Do you forgive him?'

Hannah looked up. It wasn't the clumsy platitude she'd expected. She sighed, thinking. 'I know why he did it, now. And I know _he_ knows it was wrong. He was desperate. He only tried that in a few lives – that was the last one. He didn't try it again; it wasn't worth it. He couldn't bear keeping me prisoner, and not even being able to save me to make up for it. And there were so many lives after that, where he was nothing but... contrite. Regretful. Always trying to make up for something that I couldn't even remember. I don't think he was in his right mind, those few centuries when he kidnapped me. He'd spent millennia, watching me die, helpless to stop it. I think he was willing to try anything by then, if it would work. When he realised it wouldn't, he stopped. But, he still did it. I was still terrified, traumatised, for those last few weeks of those lives. Dying was a relief, in a way. So, no. I won't forgive him, because that's not something you just shrug your shoulders and forget about. But I will move past it – and I'll let him move past it, too. I won't hold it against him.' She gave a small smile. 'Eternity is too long to hold a grudge for.'

Rashel ducked her head, shaking it with a smile. 'Well, Thierry was right. You are as good a person as he said. Not many people could just put that aside.'

Hannah shook her head. There it was again – that quiet reverence she didn't deserve. 'Why do you do that?'

Rashel looked up, quizzical. 'What?'

'That... that, thinking I'm so much better than other people. That I'm someone to look up to. Everyone here seems to do it – they defer to me, like I know more than they do, when I'm just some girl from Montana who likes palaeontology and happens to be in love with a Lord of the Night World.'

Rashel opened her mouth, shut it again as she considered. 'Honestly, I didn't realise I was. And Thierry's told us so much about you – your different lives – we all kind of feel like we know you already. Or...' she trailed off, eyes narrowed in sudden comprehension, 'we know the _other_ Hannahs. We know about all your different lives, down the years. But the one we _don't_ know about is yours. You, right now, bar what we've learned from you in the past few days. And we shouldn't treat you like one and the same, because you're not. And I'm sorry that we have so far.'

Hannah blinked, then blinked again – her vision wouldn't clear. _Don't be stupid_ , she told herself, drawing in a deep breath and blinking hard to clear her eyes. It would be stupid to cry now, after everything, and from _relief_ of all things.

'Thanks, Rashel,' she said when she was reasonably sure her voice would be steady.

Rashel gave her a reassuring smile, then unexpectedly leaned forward to squeeze her hand. Just brief contact, like she wasn't sure how long she should hold her hand and didn't want to make it too long, but there all the same.

'I think what we need to do is introduce you to the group again. Not as Lady Hannah – as Hannah Snow, the aspiring palaeontologist from Montana. Let them get to know you as a person, not a figurehead. And someone needs to smack Thierry over the head for getting us all to put you on a pedestal.'

Hannah giggled, the tears returning. This time she gave up and let them out – and found only a couple, nothing to be ashamed of anyway. 'I think I'd better do that. No one else would dare.'

Rashel laughed. 'You got that right.' Then she stood fluidly, stretching before half-turning towards the door. 'Want to go now?'

Hannah looked at her, then the door. 'What, right now?'

Rashel chuckled. 'No time like the present. And you might have infinity number of lives to go, the rest of us poor mortals only have the one.'

Hannah stared for a moment, then threw the covers back and rose to her feet. Her heart was beating faster, and oddly she was reminded of her first appointment with Paul. The same nerves. Only this time, she knew she'd be seeing a werewolf within a few minutes, and she knew what she was going for. 'Okay. Let's go.'


	2. Chapter 2

Hey all! Sorry this took so long, there's been chaos with work and my contract ending and my assignments due in for my degree. Here's chapter two of _Time Is All We Have_ , and the promised Thierry/Hannah chapter. I hope the characters are accurate, I've done a re-read of _Soulmates_ between the first chapter and this one, but I'm still not as confident with their voices as with Rashel and Quinn's. This chapter is dealing more with the consequences now Hannah's coming back to reality, but still has the continuing theme of struggle and recovery that began in the last chapter. I hope I've blended the two well enough, and the chapter flows smoothly. It's been mostly written for a while; I've only just gone back and finished it today so if there's any inconsistencies, that may be why. If so, let me know so I can fix them!

I will take a second to mention the _Night World_ RP site I've joined, if anyone's interested. I've only just realised the link in my other story _My Own Remorse_ is broken, so I hope this one works: changeling (d.o.t) jcink (d.o.t) c o m (remove spaces etc.)

I'll stop blathering now :) I love hearing from you, and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Hannah slowly prodded the last of her clothes into her duffel bag, sighing and looking around her burnished gold room. Already it felt... homely, if not quite like _home._ She had to leave for the airport in an hour. Nilsson was ready to drive her there.

The door opened softly behind her, and Hannah turned. She smiled at Thierry's warm eyes, the sight making this a little easier.

'Nearly ready?' He asked, coming into the room fully and closing the door behind him.

Hannah sighed again, listlessly doing up the zip on her bag. 'I guess. I'm just not looking forward to facing the music when I get back.' Paul was the only one who sort of understood what was going on. Chess was the only one who knew Hannah had left a goodbye letter. Mom didn't know anything. Hannah had called each of them on her birthday, three days ago. Paul first, to explain. Chess next, to keep her cover. She'd sounded oddly subdued on the phone, and though it had been seven a.m. Montana time on a school day when Hannah had called, she couldn't help but wonder if Chess had opened the letter early. Mom last, so she could still pretend to be at Chess'. That had been the plan, anyway. Mom had wanted to meet up to celebrate her birthday, certain that Hannah could spare a few hours from revision to go out for dinner.

Telling her she was actually in Vegas hadn't been fun. Hannah hadn't wanted to explain over the phone, had promised she would tell her everything when she got back. All she knew was that she was grounded for at _least_ a month when she got back. The only reason Hannah hadn't been guilt-tripped onto a plane that very night was one of the healers promptly taking the phone off her and explaining to her mother that Hannah had taken ill whilst in Vegas, and would have to stay for the next couple of days for observation. Hannah had given up at that point and merely nodded wearily when the healer told her mother Hannah would be free to go by Sunday. Of course, that had only made her even more worried. Hannah had spent another ten minutes assuring her that she was okay and to stop fussing.

Thierry gently untangled the bag straps from Hannah's twisting hands, put the bag down on the floor where she couldn't crack the already worn plastic handles further. He rested his hands on her shoulders, stooping slightly to meet her eyes. 'It'll be fine. I'll be there to help you explain.'

Hannah laughed, scrubbing a hand through her hair even as she leaned in against him a little. He folded her in against his chest without hesitation; let her cling onto the sleeves of his T-shirt. Hannah tugged and twisted at the hem of one as she spoke, needing something to do with her hands. 'Yeah, because Mom's going to be _thrilled_ when I return from an unsupervised visit to Vegas with a guy she's never met before.' Then she sighed, resigned. 'This isn't going to go well, no matter what we do. At least you'll be there with me.' She smiled, tilted her head up to look at him. 'Mom can shout at you as well, not just me.'

He chuckled, darting down to drop a soft kiss on her lips because he could. 'If you're there, I think I could bear it,' he said softly, running the back of his knuckles over her cheek, light as a bolt of satin.

Hannah giggled; the sound odd to her ears. It had been so long since she was just... normal. Relaxed, happy, joking, without the stress of her dreams and paranoia and notes hanging over her, or the threat of the Night World and Maya. Even now, going home to probably be grounded for months, even with very different nightmares jolting her awake, she couldn't help but feel a deep sense of peace below the surface worry. 'Bring ear plugs, Mom can get pretty loud when she's mad.'

'Duly noted,' he murmured with a grin. He was tilting her chin up for another kiss when there was a polite knock on the door. Eyes closed, Thierry dropped his forehead against hers with a silent groan. Hannah bit her lip to stop herself laughing and giving them away. 'Who is it?' Thierry called, opening his eyes in time to roll them when Nilsson's voice came from the other side of the door.

'We're ready to depart when you are, sir,' the vampire said through the door, oblivious to the way Thierry was shaking his head in exasperation while Hannah buried her face in his shoulder to silence herself, shoulders shaking.

'We'll be there in a moment, Nilsson,' Thierry said without a trace of impatience. Hannah didn't know how he did it.

'Yes sir.' Hannah would have thought Nilsson was still outside the door; she heard no footsteps retreating, but Thierry relaxed after a couple of seconds and dropped his head to her shoulder with a groan. Hannah shook, breathless with mirth, and only when she could drag in a gasping breath did she finally make a sound, cracking up completely into Thierry's neck.

'I would not be able to keep Circle Daybreak running without him, but Nilsson is sometimes a little _too_ keen on his work,' Thierry said over her peals, still in that tone of admirable patience.

'Oh, poor Nilsson,' Hannah hiccupped, wiping tears from her eyes. 'He means well.'

'He does,' Thierry acknowledged, finally straightening, dark eyes bright with amusement. It was good to see him so care-free, Hannah thought. Before, there had always been that lingering sadness, a pain behind the mask. Now he just felt light, joyful. Now when he kissed her, there was no reticence or uncertainty, no fear.

When they made their way downstairs, they found a small sending-off committee waiting for them. The other soulmates were hanging around in the entrance hall or on the stairs, talking. Nilsson stood off to one side, waiting, while Lupe chattered with Poppy and James. Upon seeing them, everyone stood up and made way. Like Cinderella stepping into the ballroom, Hannah thought. Only this Cinderella already had her prince on her arm.

Nilsson hurried to take her bag and load it into the car while the others gathered around to say goodbye.

'It's more like a 'see you later', really,' Ash said as he shook Hannah's hand. 'You'll be back soon enough.'

'After finals,' Hannah said fervently. Other than all the worry she'd caused her mother, Chess and Paul, they were the reason Hannah was going back. Hopefully in a few weeks she'd be able to return to Vegas, if she could talk her mother around.

Rashel gave her a small but warm smile. 'Don't stress yourself. And give that psychologist of yours a crash-course on vampires while you're there,' she said, squeezing Hannah's shoulder in a brief reminder of their talk that morning. 'Tell him if he wants a change of scenery, there's no shortage of work out here if he doesn't mind the supernatural.'

Hannah grinned. 'Let me break it to him that vampires are actually one hundred percent real first,' she said. 'Maybe then Thierry can poach him from Medicine Rock, when he's done freaking out.'

Rashel snorted. 'That's the spirit,' she said.

It was odd. She'd only known these people for a few days, but already she felt so close to them. It was actually hard to say goodbye. It was after a flurry of hugs and handshakes and well-wishes that Hannah and Thierry finally left, only for Hannah to stop just over the threshold, staring at the white limousine outside.

'You're kidding,' she said, gaping.

Thierry just smiled. 'Come on. We shouldn't be late.'

It was a smooth ride to the airport, a half an hour drive in the midday traffic. They didn't speak much, content to just sit side-by-side in peaceful quiet. Hannah dozed, trying to catch up on the sleep she'd missed the night before. She'd not been able to sleep without seeing Maya's body and the way it shrank in on itself so far. Her dreams made it worse, drawing on things she'd seen in other lives. The maggots Hana had seen writhing in an aurochs carcass, transplanted into the wound. The choking, thick, putrid stench of exposed organs she'd smelt in her warrior life, even though Maya's injury was plugged by the stake and hadn't smelt at all. She was getting used to startling awake, only for Thierry to gently talk her back into a doze, brushing her hair to soothe her. Last night she'd struggled to even drift off, nervous as she was for their trip.

Once at the airport, it only took a few minutes to check their luggage in and go through security, even though Hannah could see rather lengthy queues. She'd been prepared for the boredom of waiting around near their gate for an hour before being asked to board the flight, but she and Thierry were escorted to a VIP lounge with big, comfy armchairs and a huge bar.

She sank into her seat with a glass of Coke in her hand, staring about. This was a far cry from the hard plastic seats and McDonalds cup of soda she'd had at Billings airport. 'I feel like such a country girl,' Hannah said as Thierry settled next to her, drink in hand.

Thierry smiled. 'After the past few days, I think you deserve some comfort on the flight home.'

Hannah raised an eyebrow at him. 'You're telling me that if I wasn't here, you'd be flying economy class?' The idea of Thierry trying to cram his long legs into the limited space in economy was ridiculous.

Thierry ducked his head, laughing. 'Not quite. But I am enjoying the chance to pamper you.'

Hannah waved a vague hand at him to continue. 'Oh, by all means. I'm not complaining.'

'I didn't think so,' Thierry chuckled.

'Just fair warning, we're taking my dad's old Ford back to my Mom's house, so the luxury ends when we get off the flight, I'm afraid.'

'I'm sure I'll cope,' he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Hannah leaned in against him, taking comfort in his solid warmth. She reached up to run her fingers over the hand on her shoulder, tracing smooth, raised calluses. Those were made by the spears his tribe used to throw, she knew. Parts of her still marvelled at that. Thierry had seen so _much;_ had lived so long. He'd personally hunted mammoths, for God's sake. Yes, Hana of Three Rivers had seen or done the same things, but that had literally been another life. Hannah couldn't fathom what it would have been like, living that long continuously.

Her grandparents couldn't even get their heads around the internet, yet Thierry had seen nearly all of human history and kept up with it. How did he even remember it all? Hannah could barely keep her hundreds of brief lifetimes straight – if she tried to focus on too many at once, she got a migraine. Some jumped out her more than others, like Hana's and Ha-nakt's. Others faded into the background, almost forgotten, like Anora's and Ian's.

She'd have to write them all down. One thing she didn't want was for all those lifetimes, those experiences, to be forgotten. Even though they were all her, they were all unique and worthy of remembering. Maybe she could make a timeline using them.

It had occurred to her that they might be why she was so good at history in school. She wondered with a private smile if that counted as cheating or not.

God, school. Finals. With everything that had been going on, she'd barely given a thought to revision. She was going to have to cram when she got back. After explaining everything to Mom. After showing up on her doorstep with Thierry in tow.

Hannah wished she was back in bed at the mansion.

'Tired?' Thierry asked as she dropped her head onto his shoulder.

'Just realised all the studying I've got to do when I get back. I've got my finals in a few weeks, and... well,' she laughed, 'with everything that's happened, I kind of forgot to revise.'

She felt Thierry smile against the crown of her head. 'I'm sure you'll catch up. I can help, if you like.'

'Really?' She asked, surprised, then felt stupid for saying so. He'd had a few millennia to learn anything he wanted to. There was no reason he _couldn't_ help her.

From his smile, he'd guessed – or followed – what she'd thought. She tucked her head back in against his shoulder, cheeks warm. 'Thank you. This is all assuming Mom doesn't throw a fit when you show up, of course.'

He chuckled, breath ruffling her hair. 'I'll do my best to win her around. No influencing involved,' he promised softly, when she shifted against him.

'Just get her talking about duckbill fossils and you'll have her wrapped round your pinky finger in no time,' Hannah said, patting his knee. 'Or mention the whole caveman thing. You're no dinosaur, but she'll still be hounding you for details for years.'

Though he laughed, he sobered quickly. She glanced up at him when she felt the shift in mood, questioning. He gave her a small smile, but a weary one as well. 'That reminds me. Just how much do you want to tell her?'

Hannah looked away, gazing out over the lounge without really seeing it, brow creasing. 'I _want_ to tell her everything. She's my mom, she deserves to know who I really am, but... the more she knows, the more danger she's in, isn't she?'

Thierry nodded, mouth pressing into a thin line. 'According to the laws of the Night World, yes. I would never let any harm come to her, if it was in my power to stop it,' he said fervently, squeezing her shoulder to reassure her, 'but if it were ever to get out that she knew about the Night World, then yes, she would be in danger.'

'The trouble is that any story we tell her that doesn't involve it just won't make sense.' She sat up in her seat, filled with mock animation, a stupid, gushing grin on her face. "Hey Mom, I met this great guy last week, so I lied to you and followed him to Vegas for a laugh, and I think I love him after about four days." She slumped back against his side again, energy rippling out of her, dissatisfied frown back in place. 'It'd sound ridiculous. Anything we tell her she won't believe – the truth because it's too crazy, and a lie because it wouldn't make sense.'

They both fell quiet for a moment, stewing over the issue, sipping their drinks for something to do. Finally Thierry sighed, shifting in his seat to set his empty glass aside. 'We always have the option of showing her what I am. But that would mean telling her the truth.'

Hannah nodded. 'I'm starting to think that's our best option. Tell her, but warn her. Mom can keep secrets; she's not going to go blabbing about vampires and werewolves to people. Not that they'd believe her.' She ran her thumb over the black rose ring on her finger, contemplative. 'And we could always get her something like this, couldn't we? To protect her.'

Thierry paused. 'I, ah, may have already buried one in your back yard,' he said, tone turning sheepish. Hannah looked up at him with an amused grin, eyebrows raised. 'It's designed to stop any Night World people from entering your house without an invitation from you or your mother,' he elaborated, to cover for his flustering. 'There's a better enchantment we could use as well – I was about to call in a favour from an old friend to set it up for you, right before I found out Maya had attacked you.' The fingers of his free hand reflexively curled in to touch the middle of his palm, where Hannah had stabbed Maya with the pencil. 'It can protect its target anywhere they go in the county. I can contact Circe again; see if she's still willing to set up the wards. That should keep your mother safe no matter where she goes locally.'

'That'd be great,' Hannah said warmly, relaxing a little. Telling her mother would still be difficult, and Maya had proven that safety measures could be worked around, but it was better than leaving her mother completely vulnerable. It made Hannah feel better about it all, anyway. 'All we need to do now is tell her without her freaking out completely.'

Honestly, that didn't worry her too much. Mom was just so rational; she'd probably be full of questions more than anything else. The hardest part would be to convince her of the past lives. That vampires exist was one thing, especially when Thierry was with her, but that? It would take longer to explain, she thought. She could call up all those little details that had panicked Paul, from multiple lives. That might be enough proof, after a while.

Hannah sighed, settling against Thierry's side more comfortably. All they could do was tell the truth as best they could, present their evidence like they were trying to counter a theory. Anything else they'd cope with when – if – it happened.

It wasn't too long before a member of staff knocked at the door and entered. 'Sir, Madam, the flight will be boarding soon. Could you follow me please?'

Thierry turned to her with a small, bracing smile. 'Ready?'

Hannah took a deep breath, released it with a nod. 'Yeah. I'm ready.' This was her life for as long as she had it. She'd lost or wasted so many, she was going to make the most of this one, and no nightmares of Maya or the apocalypse or memories of the dead were going to stop her.


End file.
